Tag: poem about depression

Love poem: Forever holds onto me

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Love poem: Forever holds onto me

I was holding onto you
I was holding onto you
There was nothing I could do
There was nothing I could do
But only to know that I’d forever be helplessly in love with you

My best, world’s best, memories
Were me with fingertips
And the silly little way you walked
My starlight, my noble gas
My everything and all I could give inside one celestial collapse
I find it impossible
How one could not look
At your precious face for the last time
You were right there
You would always be mine

Love poem: Forever holds onto me (continued)

I was holding onto you
There was nothing they could do
I said keep trying, keep moving
I was so not done being with you
Every time
You looked at me
Is laid like concrete in my memory
There was nothing they could do
And I said, well, keep trying
There is no fucking way the love of my life is dying

I cry in the shower
Feel like screaming at grocery stores
Because you aren’t, in my bed, of course
I’m happy
It happened
So fast

Otherwise
I don’t think
I would last

And you and I both knew, I couldn’t die before you

Love poem: Forever holds onto me (continued)

I was holding on
With my bare arms
Holding you like a baby
Comforting you like a blanket
There was nothing more they could do
They promised and I believe them

You and I both know, I could not have died before you
Now, it’s nearing May
Dear God, what am I to do

This time last year,
I still had you.

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Poem: In real time (vast chasm)

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Poem: In real time (vast chasm)

Arched back, my universe
A mint sage green to invigorate me since I’m so,
Tired of the way things have been going
Parts of me I loved, not really showing
Vintage glamour too much of an effort; I’m sinking down
I know that I swim very well, so it’s not sensible to drown
But I have this one thought I want to get rid of
That maybe it’s peaceful down there
I know I can bring to this valley some flowers
But what if the prettiest ones are underground
I’m scared of this one thought I pretend not to have
That maybe I can take something and finally find out
I’m scared of this one thought I have

I simultaneously do and don’t want to be
Wondering if people in other vehicles on the freeway can see me crying.
The depth of the city
Pale bloom mid-toned grey, avalanche of a highway
Miles per hour in the hundreds – this is my place
It’s my crisp green apple
So why am I disconsolate in lowercase
Feeding into a winter sunrise that falls on me like a torrential downpour

Poem, continued: In real time (vast chasm)

Your brown eyes, they see something in me
Oh, I believe it
But I know I need to see something too
I’m scared of this one thought I have
That perhaps this book is becoming too long
I have all these notebooks
I’ve never written in
I have all these contacts
That I just delete
The sun hits me hard and the skies wake me up, but the noise is like tar and I do love the black
But the panic attacks
The heirloom pink that fades so fast
When I eventually fall asleep
Time and space not linked, so casually on the brink
Of falling in

Poem, continued: In real time (vast chasm)

Don’t want to be someone
That is too tired to make their own cup of
Coffee
Don’t feel I need someone
Halfway think I don’t deserve it
It feels so unconventional but on-purpose
Like a car that refuses to accept gasoline

I have a fence
That grows taller around me
I spin in circles
But not to break free
If someone saw this
They’d conclude I was insane
But I am clearing cobwebs
From my own brain

Poem, continued: In real time (vast chasm)

Arched back, my universe
Anabolism and violent television shows that I don’t watch
Avoiding mass speculation and trembling violations
My white chair that faces two separate vases of flowers
I love it here
And I can’t bare to hate anything at all

Except being
Unable
To make
A cup of coffee
In real time

I am surprised
That I
Can write

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Poem: Choking on grapes

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Poem: Choking on Grapes

It was on purpose
It wasn’t a mistake
I got
Frostbite
From choking on splinters
Peeling them like grapes

Thin as a needle
You make it seem easy
The ploughing is destroying the peyote
And I have created a party for you, the reason for my demise
I’ve been so intrigued ever since you rolled down the window for me to feel the breeze

You will always have the medicine with you
Wherever you go

Poem: Choking on Grapes, continued

In Texas, I felt free because the gas was cheap, and I had salt in my
Teeth
Washing my brand-new blue jeans
Wheat fields and a can of cola, riding in the bed of a truck looking over my shoulder
Tired of having nobody to say anything to
I feel alone and even though I’m used to it
I still have to shrug it off, it seems
A fig tree standing for no one

Pharmacology is lovely & my favourite toothpaste is by Arm & Hammer
I drive to the nearby Rite Aid, where I get a lottery ticket for my mother
Mixing up my favourite numbers
I never win, but she swears I’m so lucky
I couldn’t spell it out right if you had the guts to call me
The ravens in the sky figured out how to fly
In ways that make girls and boys want to order cameras that run on film
See a kid skateboard home and it’s like it’s 2008
And my hair is blonde
A lavender bush smiling for no one

Poem: Choking on grapes, continued

Cut in half an apricot
Can run for miles; dimes are all I got
My backpack is lilac, because I want the items I own to be beautiful
To represent a part of me that feels eternal
Colour schemes and fever dreams
I get lost
Upside down
Tangled in between two separate swings
Lose and find my favourite things

It must have been on purpose
It was no mistake
Soft cotton
Precious limestone
Overflowing bookcase that survives California earthquakes
Girls are selling their poetry on Instagram and I’m

Still broke
Choking on splinters
Peeling them like grapes

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Love poem: Tired surprise

distantcaveLeave a comment

Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the SoundCloud portion.

I’m working on a new email newsletter for post updates. xx

Love poem: Tired surprise

I want someone to unwind me
Unravel me & cover me back up with ivory satin
Lying on your bed while we listen to electric guitar
Devour me on purpose
Taste my flesh
Get away with murder in a hospital bed

I want to be
Your lightning and your fire
But calm like a river bed
Give to you what your parents never did
Be like the cool buzz from half a can of beer
Charming, light, open you up to the silliness of life
That I hope you see too, and when we come together
We can make diamonds come alive
Spoon-feed cherry blossoms their evening supper
Truly, and I mean truly
Care for one another

I’m a swan in the water, I’m a storm when I drive
Hands clasped behind his back
He doesn’t want to keep talking about this
But I do
You have to choose somebody that accepts every part of you
For someone who’s often misunderstood
Such will take a long time
I close my eyes and think of how long I’ll be on this ride
Then glance in the mirror, see the twinkle in my eyes
I could be someone’s most beautiful surprise

Calm like a river bed
Charming and light
Not afraid of the deep end, the stones with colours that have never been named
I don’t want to feel ashamed
Of the space I occupy
The words that come out when I haven’t thought carefully enough
I don’t want to be ashamed
Of the person I adore when it’s just me in my room
I told you, I’m forever in bloom
Vacate the room if that’s not cool with you

Sleeping soundly and not wanting to be disturbed
He doesn’t want to keep talking about this
But I do
I do
Thinking about the things that seem to only have meaning for you
It’s exhausting
Time is fragile
A car’s despairing exhaust
The first of December’s crystals of frost

I want someone to unwind me
Because I’m so
Tired

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Poem: A million shelves

distantcaveLeave a comment

Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the SoundCloud portion. I’m currently testing a Push notification application. xx

Poem: A million shelves

A maroon carcass that rests gently on the edge of the seashore
Fresh propane tank
Exclusively at your local corner store
Wearing my baby blue doll dress
Headaches from thinking about it

What we’ve been through
I see it in the corners of this melting igloo
Turn up the temperature
Sit on the fire escape, heavenly embrace
Homemade campfire, fire burning up your home
As the water droplets cascade down
I see fiber nectar start to turn upside down

Look through the hole on your door
To see who’s been knocking all night long
Cut the stems from fresh flowers in that old vase
Hasn’t lost its sparkle
The years are like lightning cables, but I’m so stable
Looking through the hole in my door
To see who’s been scraping at my windshield all night long

A poem about choosing whether to renovate oneself.

Such a romantic scene, velvet slippers & cleaning-service-fresh satin
Mop up discarded memories
I aim to please, I aim to please
Now I put myself first
And the whole world is to burn
Too busy listening to jazz to look through the hole in the door
You can leave a note
You can leave a note

Notebook paper by my bedside
Ash covers my deep green eyes
You’d think I’d be surprised
That disks of memories still replay in my mind
While I drive in the rain
Smiling, smiling all the way
Thunder shifting my car
Absolving into the reminisce that is the end of this year

Turn up the temperature
Sit on the fire escape
You tell people not to do what you really want them to
Leave a note
Leave a note

Be the bigger man
Nine minutes until the fan
Turns off for the evening & I’m left to writhe in this heat

Look after me
Don’t look behind yourself when you walk down the street
Holding a pomegranate smoothie
Writing my website in sharpie on street signs

Be the bigger man
Cradle your face in your hands
Turn up the temperature
Turn off the faucet
Sit on the fire escape
Leave a note and then toss it

The trash can that held a million versions of your most real self

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