Tag: pink aesthetic

Love poem: Fell back in love with me

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself

I am, a dandelion that’s losing its ligules
A dandelion on the street
Stepped on, on repeat – bracing the wind, but falling apart
Missing my roots
Crying because I won’t be in a vehicle with my father ever again
But the koala-grey sidewalk embraces me like its only friend

Gasping, breaking, compact but fragile – for eternity
Not asking anyone to save me
Because rap songs taught me that’s commonly dismissed
Neglected and disposed of
(Why am I so delicate?)
I breathe it and I love it, but God please help me, I’m exasperated
I wear my orthodox cross like it’s the most expensive diamond given to a queen
Nobody ever suspects a thing

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself (continued)

A guy once bought me, the most beautiful fiddle leaf fig tree
That I picked out, of course
Girl knows her houseplants
My bedroom lacked the sunshine to keep my baby alive
I wept on the floor staring at its fallen brown pieces
Feeling like I was one of them
Breaking for eternity
Shrivelling up and no longer green, but serene
I swallow the ground whole with my desire to love more than I ever have before
Time, and time, again.

You know, a girl, who truly loves flowers
Never “gets used” to receiving them
Each time is special, savoured, like those commercials with women and chocolate
I stop walking every few feet to capture a flower
One day, a boy said to me, “do you have to stop every time”
That was the end of him and I
Of course, I do
That’s what happens when you’re in love with white, pink, red, yellow, and blue
The colours dash through your mind when you’re not scrolling on your phone
Remembering the hydrangeas from Venice Beach
The sunset blooms at the rose garden at the museum where you spent your birthday in your own solid company
Breaking in composite structures
Swallowing the rose petals on the ground

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself (continued)

The dandelions on the street
Say something on repeat

They love me, they live through me
They engulf quite the vast part of me
And every piece of their frail self that flies away with the breeze
Becomes deeply embedded within me
And I love it, like cotton
I roll it, like marbles
If I’m ever, forgotten

I hope botany never is

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself (continued)

I know a girl
That will never “get used” to flowers
So endlessly abundant but single-handedly make this life worth it

They love me, they love me
They live right through me
I walk on the concrete
Looking for myself

Donate to my PayPal and let me buy myself fresh flowers! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Love poem: Why I stay far away from you

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem: Why I stay far away from you

Lavender highlighter pens and derivatives of peptides
You, sitting across the aristocratic table from me
Bruised in a way that only you could contain
I need a gold medallion for your table manners, white & yellow daisy in a jar
Baby blue periwinkle Bambi dress, dress up for you
Hush, I’m trying to study
But it feels so lovely
The natural light bringing out the specks in your irises

You don’t, really talk too much.
You think you do, but you don’t
Just enough
Tip of my tongue
In flames falling all over the sidewalks for you
I miss you like white stains on my teeth
Think of you wearing turtleneck sweaters in the mountains high up
Cylindrical daydreams feel too soft, too hazy to be absorbed readily
Sad thing is they only stay dreams
Have to keep you far away from me
Cos if you were to come close
Oh, my baby blue, oh I’d love to really let go
I’d love to just let you know.

Love Poem: Why I stay far away from you (continued)

You know I love you so much, I swim like goldfish freed from a little paper cup or a balloon
Held by a child, shaken like a madman
I want you on the highways, the overlapping freeways that make me lose my mind every time
In Texas, in Calabasas, the swing-set of a family home
And how I wish I could just plead
For you to be the man I falsely believe I know you can be
How I know what you need
I’d love to just let you know.

Ultimately, I love you and accept you just as you are
I wouldn’t change a thing
So I have to separate myself
You and me in the same room, that’s violence
That’s you laughing at how I have no concept of what monopoly is nor how to play any type of card game
It’s you making fun of me for the cute things I say and do
It’s you making me fall in love with myself even more in a way only tenderness could do
And this is why I have to stay far away from you.

Love Poem: Why I stay far away from you (continued)

I was seated in the Victorian chair, studying my amino acids
Brought me the worst cup of coffee I ever did have
I drank it all – okay, maybe half, I kept looking at you
Focusing on your manuscript and I was smiling
Jagged edges
Confetti for a party that was never thrown
Like a mountain goat, I could climb diagonally towards you
Swim to you in thunderstorms
Tear you apart by looking at you – not once, but twice
I’m in love with how you look at me and how you don’t look at me and then you

Look up at me
And I’m studying the amino acids
Can’t get you out of my head, you’re the worst

A ghost can’t be in a coma
But a well-dressed boy is a blessing and a curse

You’re like a pill
I can’t
Take

Donate to my PayPal to help me maintain my website! paypal.me/LilacDoveCA

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky)

distantcaveLeave a comment

Welcome to my poetry website! Each poem ends when you’ve reached the SoundCloud application at the end of the post. Please donate so I can continue my dream! Https://www.paypal.me/LilacDoveCA

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky)

See, if I speak with you
I’ll fall in love with you
All over again like an emerald green sky

Girl in a lilac sweater
Has never felt better
Than laying in the bed of your pickup truck
As you pump gas
Turn skeletons into ash
Move like a menace, kiss me softly like that

You do the things you do solely to see how I’ll react
But your closest friends would say you’re more good than bad

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky) : continued

So I pause
Traceable glances, your advances
Trail like a navy fleet approaches the bay
Quietly, surely
Ready to devour me
Keen on microwaving things that are sour
You turn entanglements of the moon into long-winded stories
That few follow along with because inherently they don’t make sense
Tar coal cave of parasites & diamonds
Get your house cat to take care of the housing market finance

A river in the rain – water swallowing water, absorbing its high electron state
Collapsing at the edges
Falling through graphite
Notes on my bedroom walls because I forget lavender interior paint is not a chalkboard
A vessel for immunity
Estranged from the community
You only feel close to because you share a hometown with

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky): continued

I’d read you my words, that I rehearsed
Collectively failing to portray the argument that I thought I had right
Your posture will take with you to the grave
The handwritten collages I made
Of your favourite leaves to give to you for the holidays
What a girl
That sure thought

It would last, like it couldn’t
Like the fever wasn’t on fire
The skylight not screaming at me – “Go home, he’s worked too hard”
To tear society apart
For a girl whose art

Revolves around being in love & staying in it

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky): continued

See, if I speak with you
(On the top of the aircraft, there are more pretzels)
I’d laugh with you
Make you smile and that would be too much for me to

Fall in love with you like a crisp lavender sky

You do the things you do solely to see how I’ll react
But your closest friends would say you’re more good than bad

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky): continued

Patient and holy
This girl is only
Made of so much skin

Patient and holy
This girl is only
Made of so much skin

If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you
If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do the things you do
If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you
If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do the things you do

Support my website! Https://www.paypal.me/LilacDoveCA

Love poem: Tired surprise

distantcaveLeave a comment

Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the SoundCloud portion.

I’m working on a new email newsletter for post updates. xx

Love poem: Tired surprise

I want someone to unwind me
Unravel me & cover me back up with ivory satin
Lying on your bed while we listen to electric guitar
Devour me on purpose
Taste my flesh
Get away with murder in a hospital bed

I want to be
Your lightning and your fire
But calm like a river bed
Give to you what your parents never did
Be like the cool buzz from half a can of beer
Charming, light, open you up to the silliness of life
That I hope you see too, and when we come together
We can make diamonds come alive
Spoon-feed cherry blossoms their evening supper
Truly, and I mean truly
Care for one another

I’m a swan in the water, I’m a storm when I drive
Hands clasped behind his back
He doesn’t want to keep talking about this
But I do
You have to choose somebody that accepts every part of you
For someone who’s often misunderstood
Such will take a long time
I close my eyes and think of how long I’ll be on this ride
Then glance in the mirror, see the twinkle in my eyes
I could be someone’s most beautiful surprise

Calm like a river bed
Charming and light
Not afraid of the deep end, the stones with colours that have never been named
I don’t want to feel ashamed
Of the space I occupy
The words that come out when I haven’t thought carefully enough
I don’t want to be ashamed
Of the person I adore when it’s just me in my room
I told you, I’m forever in bloom
Vacate the room if that’s not cool with you

Sleeping soundly and not wanting to be disturbed
He doesn’t want to keep talking about this
But I do
I do
Thinking about the things that seem to only have meaning for you
It’s exhausting
Time is fragile
A car’s despairing exhaust
The first of December’s crystals of frost

I want someone to unwind me
Because I’m so
Tired

Please support my work! paypal.me/LilacDoveCA

Love poem: Satin sheets/myelin sheaths

distantcaveLeave a comment

Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the Soundcloud portion. I’m currently testing a Push notification application. xx

Myelin sheath: an insulating layer that forms around nerves, including those in the brain & spinal cord

Love poem: Satin sheets/myelin sheaths

Softening
Softening once more
Softening even further, forever more

This gentle life
And you wish your poetry posts got as much attention as your self-portraits do
How’s that supposed to feel?
I’m in knots, I haven’t not gotten over you
Arachnids spinning cobwebs in my mind
The glass mirror looks so good, so perfectly together
You would smash it to pieces if I’d let you just try

Standing on the edge of a river
Pebbles holding me, I hold them back
I am safe with myself
(I am only safe with myself)
How’s that supposed to feel?
Adjust my glasses & play with the cobwebs
I’m spinning like an obsolete carousel in violent orange & blue, wicked flames

As arachnids spin webs in the tiny spaces between my neurons
They know the pharmacology I don’t
They watch the synapses like cityscapes
Like a vintage cinema screen
How’s that feel?
How’s that feel to me?
Hold the cross on my necklace to remind me that there’s more
There’s more across this river
Want to lay down, but I don’t think I’d ever get up from this
Bed of flowers
Holding cobwebs
Paying attention to what nobody pays attention to
Dream world for sure

I’m a very good swimmer
I can’t even fake drown
My body sure does love me
And I love it too, for the first time in twenty-something years
A drive-by shooting that sounds like bursting fireworks
Illegal in California but on wholesale in the suburbs of Texas
The wildlife
Skips across the myelin sheath of my brain
How’s that feel?
How’s that really feel, to me?

You’re mowing your lawn & cursing every girl you ever met
Honey, I can’t get behind that
The fuzzy pedals of arachnids
Sewing me white satin dreamscapes
Dissolve right in, come dissolve right in
Not my time to free you from the confines of your mind

The arches of my body
Oh, they love me, they really love me
Neck pain so bad it wakes me up in the middle of the night
Play your electric guitar,
Solve your computer security program
Do it far away from me
I’m kissing spiders when I sleep

Oh, how much they love me
Oh, how much I love them in return
Maybe they’ll rearrange my spinal cord
So I won’t have to hurt

Then I won’t have to hurt
Arachnids sewing me white, satin dreamscapes
Trembling softly, getting softer
Forever more

Oh, how much they love me
Oh, how much I love them in return
Oh, how this city feels
Like it’s evacuating me

Trembling softly
Getting softer
I’m in love with cobwebs that are in love with me

Support my work! paypal.me/LilacDoveCA