Poem: Brand new, morning dew

Brand new, morning dew

You
You just accept
That we could’ve been the best
That you and I are worlds apart
I can’t forget the rest
You, wearing blue
I walk away from you
I hate telling you the truth
I’m sober and so full of you

white rose, flower, dew

Me
Here
Waiting a long time for the train
Sipping my cappuccino in the rain
Wishing I could start again
Brand new
Morning dew
Confiscate the worst words from you
That you throw in my direction
The police break down our door for an inspection
They try to take what’s the best of us
They can’t take this away from us
I’m everything you wanted and more
And more, and more, and more
I’m everything you wanted and more

Walking to the market
You in my favorite boy outfit
White t-shirt and black jeans
The sky today feels serene
You’re in a bad mood, you get mean
Sudden hospitality
Animosity towards those who aren’t us
We chain ourselves into a box
False pretense that we’re free

But thank god it’s you and me
Thank god it’s you and me

But thank god it’s you and me
Thank god it’s you and me

While the others live tragically, it’s still you and me

shirt, white shirt, monochrome

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Poem: Bridge over troubled waters (lazy days)

For a brief moment sunshine fell upon my face

I let God’s light take me to  a breathtaking place

I soaked in the sun rays like an encouraging haze
I closed my eyes and wished for better days
Hope
Holding onto it
Trembling
Feet dangling over the balcony’s wall that I sit on, fifth floor
Give you affection and give you some more
You’re not an eyesore
What’s mine, baby it’s yours
Only if you deserve 

Bridge over troubled waters
Playing on the record player as I mop the kitchen floors, wet from the leak in the ceiling
I’m thinking, I’m feeling
Can’t even believe it
I see better days coming
I see reuniting with the shore
Surfing and bathing suits, for sure

I remembered how he refused to read my poems
Didn’t realize they were all about him
Not other boys
So I said my goodbyes
Blocked his number, changed mine
For a second the sunshine made me feel divine
But as I walked right through it
I passed it and turned around
It was gone
It had left
And an apathy I almost felt
But I thought never mind, because I won’t neglect
All the others that depend on me
To be strong, to foresee
Each little admirable quality
In them
In me
In the leaves on the highest fiddle-leaf fig trees
That sway in the breeze

I’ve said my goodbyes
Kept them wondering why
All my lazy days amounted to somethin’
She was so young, it happened all of a sudden

All my lazy days amounted to somethin’
Freeways calm me down
Settle down my nerves
Soon, a place that won’t hurt
Soon, a place that won’t hurt

Leave me deep in the dirt
So good that it hurts


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Poem: Paranoid and proud (10,000 times)

Paranoid and proud (10,000)

Enigmatic, or desolate

I knock on your door slowly
Trembling
I don’t want to interrupt your work
You tell me to crawl over to the desk
I said babe, I’ve got a headache
My hair is a mess
I can’t pass your tests

I’m stupid and paranoid
None of your answers make sense
Where were you last Tuesday
Who was that in the car
You reach for another cigar
You’re the most beautiful boy but your personality is tar
You’re mean about my scars

A variation of you and me (but it’s just a fantasy)

The white roses have died
Is it me or my pride
That I always remind you of how my favorite man died
I know I’m a burden, I scream on the inside
Walking on eggshells
Tiny glass fragments
When you threw the vase at the wall because you couldn’t find your glasses
The white roses, they’ve died anyway
Entered a state of decay
Quite like I have, and it’s how I will stay
The light has left me, what do you make of my remains
I’m more revolting every day

Chaos and butterflies
Surprise me with flowers
Plant a tree every time you yawn when I talk about my interests
If this isn’t love or lust then what is this
Why do I sit on your lap every time you come around
How come I put my face to a pillow so that I don’t make a sound
How come you told me that the next time I get lost you hope I won’t ever be found
Like pitch black surround sound

I turn to the other side
I do my best to hide
Is that another exhibition of my pride?

You told me you loved to listen
You lied
Ten thousand times

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