Poem: White mustang, no cigarettes

Poem: White mustang, no cigarettes

Out of all my vices
Got no more cigarettes
Marriage is a stretch, it’s far-fetched
A violent vehemence
That I got caught in because he said I was one of his regrets
One of his regrets
I’d protest to that
Absence of evidence

I’m a humble girl, I’m real cool
Catch me doing laps in the swimming pool
I objectify God; in all his heavens I rule
I’m not what you’re used to
But as strange as this fancy, rugged life turns out to be
I have a strange sense I won’t make it past thirty
What’s not to be is not meant to be
Coca Cola and vanilla ice cream in the evenings
Different rituals for different seasons
A stray cat, got loose, we’ll make it even
I lay back, underneath the sun, I’m gleaming
Strangers make strange choices for strange reasons

♥ Strangers make strange choices for strange reasons ♥

♥ I’m bored to death and my glamour is fading ♥

I’m bored to death and my glamour is fading
With every cheap trick you try
I glance out the window, months just fly by
My ego’s even on the same page, telling me to get rid of you
It’s like taking out the trash
One long-winded heroin crash
I pour myself a warm bath
Collapse
Small movements
Trembling
Hands around my knees, hold them close to me
Like when I held your hand, and my heart felt safe
You were looking real nice for what was a blind date
Cigarettes into ash, swear I thought it was fate
The way your fingers interlaced my wire front gate
Never over five minutes late

I’m made of caramel syrup & mocha drizzle
You taste it, you want more, I only give you a little
I’m fairly humble in my opinion
You’ll be home any minute
And I can’t wait until you get home and see my stuff is all packed
I’m going back to the city where we stayed on track
Listening to White Mustang on replay, back to back
Lana’s the only one to bring me joy
I know you’re starting to sweat, you’re feeling paranoid
It previously hadn’t occured to you that I’m someone you enjoy
The glisten on the shine of my watermelon nail polish
The sparkles of pink and white of my carefully creased eye shadow
I’m not meant for this household
Realistically it should only occupy one man
Quite frankly I don’t care if you do or you do not understand
We’re crumbling like an avalanche
I’m coughing up sand

I stayed in your company because God, I love snow
I love champagne and wearing conservative dresses to the company engagements you’d invite me too
’till one day I caught your gaze, you looked oh so blue
Like the fakeness of it all finally got through to you
You realized you weren’t capable of loving a doll like me
Little bumble bee
Awfully cruel, brutal honesty

Out of all my vices
Got no cigarettes
I remember when you said I would become your favourite regret
You used to say I was heaven-sent
You remember that agreement we made behind a peach sunset?
First one to leave gets custody

I’m packed
I’m through
I give you a note
“First one to leave gets custody”


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Poem: Too trusting

Poem: Too trusting

I stay wondering
If my father was watching over me, how could he steer me into your direction
It must be a fault of his
Perhaps some way of showing me I’m smarter than this
Crawling back to your pink lips
The detriment of this miss

I keep thinking to myself
Why would, knowing the things that I know, I go back to you
Sleepless nights, catering to my deepest thoughts that are blue
Swimming in technicolor sound waves, I reimburse
The fact that you and I are too much alike in the ways we run towards the hills
On the yard looking through bills
I can’t pay these days

Your teenage bedroom that in your 30s you find yourself back in
I’m in the desert, no cell reception
Came here to calm my mind but the heat has me in a frenzy
I stay wondering
If my father was watching over me
Would he be mad the way I play this game
Is he up there, practically screaming my name
Telling me to not go this way again

The sea meets my cold feet at the shore
I’m almost certain that at this point I shouldn’t be in love anymore
I hear screaming in the background but it’s coming from my mind
I hear screaming in the background and it’s something scary, I find
I take the coarse sand, make a castle, and I start wondering how
It’s been almost three years and we’re not engaged somehow
The detriment, I’ve found

When I get to the city I check my phone, 6 missed calls from you
No voicemails
You get to this place where you lose your mind and don’t know what to do
How come you don’t believe I’ll swallow you
I’m trained for it
Been a bad girl my whole life
I hear your carefully colluded sighs
They make my brain melt, like four hundred degrees
Blonde hair blowing in the breeze
Almost melting underneath

If my father was watching over me
All of the hell you brought to me, he would tell me
If my father was watching over me
I conclude he must not be
Running in your direction was all me

You swallow me
Because I’m too trusting
You swallow me
Because I’m too trusting


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New update!

New update

I have added an audio note to my SoundCloud page of me reading my poem “Lying in a field of flowers.
Below you can leave suggestions & comments. I hope you enjoy my work.
Elle
Writer

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