Love poem: This is why

Love poem: This is why

You are, shorter than my father
So maybe our babies
Could be small enough to fit in our pockets
Even when they want to leave the nest
(We won’t let them)

I am, not frail – but delicate
Have cuts all over my legs from traversing the wild hills that scrape the fields you envy when you drive past the street I’m claiming as my own for the evening
I’m alone in my own portal, and I’m trying to show this dog an earthly Heaven
Things don’t go as planned
Born in September, so plans for me are fun to make
And I wildly bake
In the crisp and fallen ashes of a crocodile fire
Lit by a herd of wild animals
That nobody else says were there

Love poem: This is why (continued)

I don’t, behave
On Wednesdays
A childlike ambience to my default state of
Cradling myself in bed and only coming out to feed
I am, unsure of who in my surroundings is fond of me
It’s something I push to the back of my tired brain
Don’t think about it, don’t analyze
This concept has yet to make sense
I do like when I wear a lilac top and these black shorts
To swim through fields of wheat mixed in with golden, sombre flowers
Holding my baby darling like a waterfall
She doesn’t, behave
On Mondays nor Tuesdays

And I
Love
Spilled oat milk
As it reaches my carpet & seeps in between the fabric
I lay on the ground
Thinking of how
He lied to me when he said he thought of me while writing those songs
It was just for the sake of conversation
When you find out someone’s romantic, so you play the role
That’s not how I want life to go

Love poem: This is why (continued)

I want nonchalance with a secret tendency to dramatize
That complements my inherent practicality and
Choice to turn this car around on the freeway by moving over the cement blocks that divide the different directional paths
Will I scare you like that?
Do I have to?

I have, two weeks to myself
Though filled with doctor appointments & studying for an exam that will
Determine where I go in life from here
To me, that’s thrilling
And you, are spilling

Oat milk in my kitchen, and it’s dripping
Making its way to the carpet
So I’m laughing
Because you’re obnoxious
But deeply honest

And this is why you and I are where ends meet

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Love poem: Why I stay far away from you

Love poem: Why I stay far away from you

Lavender highlighter pens and derivatives of peptides
You, sitting across the aristocratic table from me
Bruised in a way that only you could contain
I need a gold medallion for your table manners, white & yellow daisy in a jar
Baby blue periwinkle Bambi dress, dress up for you
Hush, I’m trying to study
But it feels so lovely
The natural light bringing out the specks in your irises

You don’t, really talk too much.
You think you do, but you don’t
Just enough
Tip of my tongue
In flames falling all over the sidewalks for you
I miss you like white stains on my teeth
Think of you wearing turtleneck sweaters in the mountains high up
Cylindrical daydreams feel too soft, too hazy to be absorbed readily
Sad thing is they only stay dreams
Have to keep you far away from me
Cos if you were to come close
Oh, my baby blue, oh I’d love to really let go
I’d love to just let you know.

Love Poem: Why I stay far away from you (continued)

You know I love you so much, I swim like goldfish freed from a little paper cup or a balloon
Held by a child, shaken like a madman
I want you on the highways, the overlapping freeways that make me lose my mind every time
In Texas, in Calabasas, the swing-set of a family home
And how I wish I could just plead
For you to be the man I falsely believe I know you can be
How I know what you need
I’d love to just let you know.

Ultimately, I love you and accept you just as you are
I wouldn’t change a thing
So I have to separate myself
You and me in the same room, that’s violence
That’s you laughing at how I have no concept of what monopoly is nor how to play any type of card game
It’s you making fun of me for the cute things I say and do
It’s you making me fall in love with myself even more in a way only tenderness could do
And this is why I have to stay far away from you.

Love Poem: Why I stay far away from you (continued)

I was seated in the Victorian chair, studying my amino acids
Brought me the worst cup of coffee I ever did have
I drank it all – okay, maybe half, I kept looking at you
Focusing on your manuscript and I was smiling
Jagged edges
Confetti for a party that was never thrown
Like a mountain goat, I could climb diagonally towards you
Swim to you in thunderstorms
Tear you apart by looking at you – not once, but twice
I’m in love with how you look at me and how you don’t look at me and then you

Look up at me
And I’m studying the amino acids
Can’t get you out of my head, you’re the worst

A ghost can’t be in a coma
But a well-dressed boy is a blessing and a curse

You’re like a pill
I can’t
Take

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Love poem: Love like durable tooth enamel

Love poem: Love like durable tooth enamel

I think of you, all the time- I really can’t help the hold you’ve put on me
Chrysanthemums and roses
To make my living place
Look like it has an ounce of life residing in these four-chambered walls

Time is not, on my side
Because I love you even more now than I did before
Nobody has, the same grey hairs you do
Same fearless aptitude
Concerned look when I walk in the room
You’re a lily growing in a field surrounded by vastness and open skies

I could cry
The scariest thing about love, is that it cannot be replaced
I remember looking at your face
And knowing things will be okay, regardless if you were to turn away
If I’m left in the dust, I’ll roll in it and breathe it in
Draw elaborate diagrams of my lung damage because anatomy is my second language
I miss your tooth enamel

On a Saturday, almost-afternoon
Everything is perfect
And I am crying, sipping my coffee
Thinking that time has done nothing but grow my love for you

It’s so strong, like a branch that will never snap
I wonder if you’ll ever figure out I love you like that

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky)

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Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky)

See, if I speak with you
I’ll fall in love with you
All over again like an emerald green sky

Girl in a lilac sweater
Has never felt better
Than laying in the bed of your pickup truck
As you pump gas
Turn skeletons into ash
Move like a menace, kiss me softly like that

You do the things you do solely to see how I’ll react
But your closest friends would say you’re more good than bad

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky) : continued

So I pause
Traceable glances, your advances
Trail like a navy fleet approaches the bay
Quietly, surely
Ready to devour me
Keen on microwaving things that are sour
You turn entanglements of the moon into long-winded stories
That few follow along with because inherently they don’t make sense
Tar coal cave of parasites & diamonds
Get your house cat to take care of the housing market finance

A river in the rain – water swallowing water, absorbing its high electron state
Collapsing at the edges
Falling through graphite
Notes on my bedroom walls because I forget lavender interior paint is not a chalkboard
A vessel for immunity
Estranged from the community
You only feel close to because you share a hometown with

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky): continued

I’d read you my words, that I rehearsed
Collectively failing to portray the argument that I thought I had right
Your posture will take with you to the grave
The handwritten collages I made
Of your favourite leaves to give to you for the holidays
What a girl
That sure thought

It would last, like it couldn’t
Like the fever wasn’t on fire
The skylight not screaming at me – “Go home, he’s worked too hard”
To tear society apart
For a girl whose art

Revolves around being in love & staying in it

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky): continued

See, if I speak with you
(On the top of the aircraft, there are more pretzels)
I’d laugh with you
Make you smile and that would be too much for me to

Fall in love with you like a crisp lavender sky

You do the things you do solely to see how I’ll react
But your closest friends would say you’re more good than bad

Love poem: Skin (like a lavender sky): continued

Patient and holy
This girl is only
Made of so much skin

Patient and holy
This girl is only
Made of so much skin

If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you
If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do the things you do
If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you
If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do the things you do

Love poem: Tired surprise

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Love poem: Tired surprise

I want someone to unwind me
Unravel me & cover me back up with ivory satin
Lying on your bed while we listen to electric guitar
Devour me on purpose
Taste my flesh
Get away with murder in a hospital bed

I want to be
Your lightning and your fire
But calm like a river bed
Give to you what your parents never did
Be like the cool buzz from half a can of beer
Charming, light, open you up to the silliness of life
That I hope you see too, and when we come together
We can make diamonds come alive
Spoon-feed cherry blossoms their evening supper
Truly, and I mean truly
Care for one another

I’m a swan in the water, I’m a storm when I drive
Hands clasped behind his back
He doesn’t want to keep talking about this
But I do
You have to choose somebody that accepts every part of you
For someone who’s often misunderstood
Such will take a long time
I close my eyes and think of how long I’ll be on this ride
Then glance in the mirror, see the twinkle in my eyes
I could be someone’s most beautiful surprise

Calm like a river bed
Charming and light
Not afraid of the deep end, the stones with colours that have never been named
I don’t want to feel ashamed
Of the space I occupy
The words that come out when I haven’t thought carefully enough
I don’t want to be ashamed
Of the person I adore when it’s just me in my room
I told you, I’m forever in bloom
Vacate the room if that’s not cool with you

Sleeping soundly and not wanting to be disturbed
He doesn’t want to keep talking about this
But I do
I do
Thinking about the things that seem to only have meaning for you
It’s exhausting
Time is fragile
A car’s despairing exhaust
The first of December’s crystals of frost

I want someone to unwind me
Because I’m so
Tired

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