Poem: Soleil et marguerites

Poem: Sunshine and daisies (soleil et marguerites)

Alone in the sunshine with the daisies
My ash blonde hair turned green from the chlorine
I step in and out of the pool, I do laps, I take naps
I find you resting on your stomach with your back to the sun
Back to the sun
I thought I was alone here
But it’s something funny
Every time I think I’m alone I see you
You come here, around town, when I’m blue
You don’t call ahead of time
The summer air is just sublime
Dripping rose on the vine

Alone in the sunshine with the daisies
They’re my only friends, everybody thinks I’m crazy
But I’ve got you, baby

I’d love to stay here with you
But there are things that I cannot do
It took some gettin’ used to
And one of them
Is to belong to you
One of them
Is to belong to you

I think you know what I know
I think you know what I know

I think I’ve got it right this time
I think I’ve got it right this time

You and I can’t stay together
You and I can’t stay together

No matter the weather
No matter the shadows
I think you know what I know
I think you know what I know

You and I can’t be together
You and I can’t be together

God’s judgement is harshest when it rains


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XOXO.

Poem: Soft like thunder

Poem: Soft like thunder

His parents were well-to-do
He grew up on sailboats and river rafts
When he got older they turned into yachts
The sea was like venom to him, it pulled me in
Like the sweetest smelling flower at the end of the block
The rose
Morose
Lying-on bleached towels warm from the dryer
Didn’t put out your cigarette and started a fire
I saw you make mistakes, found out you were a liar
And I didn’t do nothing ’bout it
I did nothing at all
You stand in front of me– so handsome, so tall
I feel so small 

Pretty
Ash blonde hair
Pink ribbon hanging from my ponytail
You said the waves are good so we’ll go out and sail
Meet you at the car, I’ll go check the mail
Bounty hunter
Soft like thunder
Bills, bills, bills, bills, bills
I got the vaccine and secretly hoped I’d fall ill
Would you take care of me?
Bring me chamomile tea?
Fresh white roses for the center of the room

Centerpiece
Sharp like teeth
Glass shards in the basement

Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea
Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea
Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea

A hummingbird crawls on my windowsill
Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & fleeting
Like when we scored some angel & fell down from the ceiling
An upside-down world for the criminally insane
Blue hydrangeas
Marbles
Stone cold carpet, free of debris
You’re ironing your pants
I come up, give you a little dance
But this isn’t romance
Nor a reprisal
The last day
Wonder if you’ll even remember my last name
Before I reach fame
(You never asked)
Heart attack
Trade you gold for some hard-hitting smack

Birthday cake
Little girl
Swooning with the daffodils
Is it crazy to be a cranberry in this awful, wet wilderness
Does anything I say make any sense?
I meant to be who I was, in the past tense

Mercedes benz, honey no you didn’t
Been dreaming for this day for months, for years
You say get in, I insist on it
I glow like a candle
I’m sharp like shears
Cruel and uncoordinated, overdosing on fears
If that’s your dream life
My gentle self as your wife
The tide rushes in
The tide rushes back

Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & feeling
Hold you with my all, hear your cold heart beating
These are my plans this evening

An upside-down world for the criminally insane
I bet you one hundred you don’t know my last name
Stay quiet, breathe slow, this shouldn’t be much pain
Smooth
Quick
Needles, veins
Taking advantage

Taking advantage or being taken advantage of
Taking advantage or being taken advantage of

If that’s your dream life, my gentle self as your wife

Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & fleeting
Alone on the floor, that’s where I fall apart this evening
Don’t wake me, I’m sleeping
Don’t wake me, I’m –

Poem: En juillet, la pluie tant attendue est enfin tombée.

Poem: En juillet, la pluie tant attendue est enfin tombée.

Your 4 by 4
My innocence
Sweet hot suspense
90 miles per hour on the curves up the mountain, to show me what you know about being intense
Rain comes down and I’m listening to the Bends

I want to keep tabs on you even though it’s the wrong thing to do
Like deja vu
I’m rose, you’re blue
Falling off the skyscrapers ’cause I’m having fun
Nobody says I’m beautiful
I know it’s not that pitiful
And I’m so damn ill, it hurts

I found rejection in the cusp of a rose
I rolled my eyes and thought, of course

Congeniality isn’t my default
I had in mind all of these things to say
But I’m inclined to say I no longer get my way
For the devil’s child, it’s gotten late
I found,
You down
On your darkest day
I had in mind all of these things to say
I wanted to tell you I felt you fading away
And that wasn’t okay

I have a feeling you need to find yourself again
But I’m scared to leave because I know you need some help

I have a feeling you need to find yourself again
But I’m scared to leave because I know you need some help
I know you need some help

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Poem: White mustang, no cigarettes

Poem: White mustang, no cigarettes

Out of all my vices
Got no more cigarettes
Marriage is a stretch, it’s far-fetched
A violent vehemence
That I got caught in because he said I was one of his regrets
One of his regrets
I’d protest to that
Absence of evidence

I’m a humble girl, I’m real cool
Catch me doing laps in the swimming pool
I objectify God; in all his heavens I rule
I’m not what you’re used to
But as strange as this fancy, rugged life turns out to be
I have a strange sense I won’t make it past thirty
What’s not to be is not meant to be
Coca Cola and vanilla ice cream in the evenings
Different rituals for different seasons
A stray cat, got loose, we’ll make it even
I lay back, underneath the sun, I’m gleaming
Strangers make strange choices for strange reasons

♥ Strangers make strange choices for strange reasons ♥

♥ I’m bored to death and my glamour is fading ♥

I’m bored to death and my glamour is fading
With every cheap trick you try
I glance out the window, months just fly by
My ego’s even on the same page, telling me to get rid of you
It’s like taking out the trash
One long-winded heroin crash
I pour myself a warm bath
Collapse
Small movements
Trembling
Hands around my knees, hold them close to me
Like when I held your hand, and my heart felt safe
You were looking real nice for what was a blind date
Cigarettes into ash, swear I thought it was fate
The way your fingers interlaced my wire front gate
Never over five minutes late

I’m made of caramel syrup & mocha drizzle
You taste it, you want more, I only give you a little
I’m fairly humble in my opinion
You’ll be home any minute
And I can’t wait until you get home and see my stuff is all packed
I’m going back to the city where we stayed on track
Listening to White Mustang on replay, back to back
Lana’s the only one to bring me joy
I know you’re starting to sweat, you’re feeling paranoid
It previously hadn’t occured to you that I’m someone you enjoy
The glisten on the shine of my watermelon nail polish
The sparkles of pink and white of my carefully creased eye shadow
I’m not meant for this household
Realistically it should only occupy one man
Quite frankly I don’t care if you do or you do not understand
We’re crumbling like an avalanche
I’m coughing up sand

I stayed in your company because God, I love snow
I love champagne and wearing conservative dresses to the company engagements you’d invite me too
’till one day I caught your gaze, you looked oh so blue
Like the fakeness of it all finally got through to you
You realized you weren’t capable of loving a doll like me
Little bumble bee
Awfully cruel, brutal honesty

Out of all my vices
Got no cigarettes
I remember when you said I would become your favourite regret
You used to say I was heaven-sent
You remember that agreement we made behind a peach sunset?
First one to leave gets custody

I’m packed
I’m through
I give you a note
“First one to leave gets custody”


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Poem: Too trusting

Poem: Too trusting

I stay wondering
If my father was watching over me, how could he steer me into your direction
It must be a fault of his
Perhaps some way of showing me I’m smarter than this
Crawling back to your pink lips
The detriment of this miss

I keep thinking to myself
Why would, knowing the things that I know, I go back to you
Sleepless nights, catering to my deepest thoughts that are blue
Swimming in technicolor sound waves, I reimburse
The fact that you and I are too much alike in the ways we run towards the hills
On the yard looking through bills
I can’t pay these days

Your teenage bedroom that in your 30s you find yourself back in
I’m in the desert, no cell reception
Came here to calm my mind but the heat has me in a frenzy
I stay wondering
If my father was watching over me
Would he be mad the way I play this game
Is he up there, practically screaming my name
Telling me to not go this way again

The sea meets my cold feet at the shore
I’m almost certain that at this point I shouldn’t be in love anymore
I hear screaming in the background but it’s coming from my mind
I hear screaming in the background and it’s something scary, I find
I take the coarse sand, make a castle, and I start wondering how
It’s been almost three years and we’re not engaged somehow
The detriment, I’ve found

When I get to the city I check my phone, 6 missed calls from you
No voicemails
You get to this place where you lose your mind and don’t know what to do
How come you don’t believe I’ll swallow you
I’m trained for it
Been a bad girl my whole life
I hear your carefully colluded sighs
They make my brain melt, like four hundred degrees
Blonde hair blowing in the breeze
Almost melting underneath

If my father was watching over me
All of the hell you brought to me, he would tell me
If my father was watching over me
I conclude he must not be
Running in your direction was all me

You swallow me
Because I’m too trusting
You swallow me
Because I’m too trusting


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