Month: December 2020

I shouldn’t have told you my secret
A story that was just for me
I regretted it right after
But you looked so cute on the daybed
I had to have you again
I had to

I put Christmas lights up around my room
I feel like a little kid again
But the worries still trouble me
The thoughts still bother me
How do I manage to stand in front of you and act like the most important thing for me is the fact that I un-quit smoking

There are certain comments I made
That I now regret
I can’t tell if I’m making a big deal
I want your cute face right next to me
Letting me borrow your lighter
It makes the parking garage a bit brighter
What does it take to feel normal again

We’re watching the television and I want to tell you that I really don’t like cartoons
Especially when they’re made for adults
But I take a look at you
And you’re laughing like it’s your last day on Earth
And you’re spending it with me

So I wait for the joke to end and then I kiss you like it’s the last time I’ll ever see you
Even though that’d be such a drag
I already miss you

You’re driving me home on the freeway
And I already miss you

Peach, lime and nectarines
You caught me off guard, wearing those jeans
Surreal nights
Sugar and spice
Mix it up and make ice, the kind that I like

I’m shivering in your jacket
You’re born for the cold
We do things our way
Not their way
You with scotch, me with flowers
We breathe in life, uncontrolled
You in the sunshine, holding a bunch of marigolds

Am I becoming predictable?
The glass house I live in
You’re fire and you’re staining my bedroom floor
Like dark coal
Let dreams unfold
I come rusty but I promise I’m whole

We melt each others’ ice cream
Dance like we’ve been together ages
You don’t just love me; you love me in stages
Like wildfire all over the pages

Lavender and lilies, green common sage
I remember exactly what I was wearing that day
Blue watch, shiny like gold dust
In me you put all of your trust
The real kind, what we discussed

If I was a sparrow and I chose to fly
How long would you follow behind?

I’m memorizing
The numbers to call
For emergencies

You, you’re there for me
Like a ship set for sail
I’m calm but I’m feeling pale
On the cusp of letting you go
Pausing
Trembling
So I have to let you know

With you
It feels like the April rain has washed me
Absolved me
A bathtub with rose petals
3, 4, 35
Put my photographs on your hard drive
We’re living past forty-five

Walk along the dock
You speak to me in paragraphs
We share our love and exchange laughs
Holding your hand is scary
Don’t know when the next time will be
There’s no guarantee
No security

Arm wrapped around me, in the living room we dance
I stare at the fire and fall deeply into the romance
A flight delay
Sweetheart, won’t you stay

I need a portrait to make this permanent
Don’t you dare look away
If I start to feel vulnerable
Know you made me this way

And that’s okay